As children, up to around the age of 6 or 7, our minds are like sponges, soaking up as much knowledge as we can about the world around us and the people who are in it.
We believe, without question, what our parents, teachers and other significant adults tell us. Even older siblings can affect or belief systems. We can also believe what we have experienced as being absolutely true, whether it was good or bad. For example, if as a child you had been bitten by a dog, your belief might be programmed as ‘all dogs are dangerous and will bite you’.
It is in those formative years that most of our beliefs are formed, whether they are true or not; for you. Why do I say ‘for you’?
Well, I was brought up with my parents telling me ‘children should be seen and not heard’! I can hear my mother saying that to me, and see the many situations in which she said it! And before long, I believed it. And I carried that belief with me into adulthood.
That belief was true for me because it came from an authority figure in my life. But was it true in the first place and is it true for me now? Is it true for other people? Is it true for you? Most probably not.
I now believe that that belief had a major affect on me, keeping me quiet when I should have spoken up, probably missed career opportunities and possibly a lot more besides. And it wasn’t until my realisation that I had been carrying that belief for so long, and it had had such a detrimental effect on me, only then could I actually do something about it; and it wasn’t really my belief in the first place, it was imposed on me by my parents, it was their belief, not mine!
The point is that we all carry many beliefs within us that we subconsciously store away when we are young. It is those beliefs that drive our behaviour throughout our lives. Our subconscious is always on the lookout for proof that the belief continues to be true.
And until something happens or we learn something different about a specific belief or ourselves, those beliefs will remain intact and govern our actions, often stiffling our personal growth.
As an example, have you ever had a thought, let’s say you have the thought of ‘I’d like to go on x-factor’, and then a voice inside your head immediately says ‘don’t be stupid, you can’t sing’. Is that true? Can you really not sing? Or is it because someone else had told you that you can’t sing?
The ‘you can’t sing’ thought is based on a programmed belief whether it is true (for you) or not. It is up to you to then question that belief, in the case of singing (which I really can’t do!) the only real way of finding out is by going to the auditions!
Einstein was quoted as saying “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”. I believe that is true of our beliefs too. We should challenege our beliefs.
So, when that sometimes not-so-little voice inside your head says ‘you can’t do this’, ‘you’re no good at that’, learn to question it. Seek out the evidence of the truth of it, because without proper evidence of it’s truth, you’re actually just guessing!
